Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
