I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
