ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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