I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
