So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
