plz talk dirty to me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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