Screwed.edu
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
