I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
