Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
