Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize