My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
