last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is it because I queefed?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
