You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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