yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
