Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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