I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
