Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
They have beer where we have blood.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
