You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
