dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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