Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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