that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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