He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
