The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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