They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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