Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
