her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
