new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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