You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
