You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
