:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
