we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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