eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
