I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize