Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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