Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
