I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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