He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
