Yo dont text me then not text me
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
