Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
