Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
