I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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