is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I didn't notice because vodka
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
