There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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