I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
