The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize