I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
