I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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