Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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