marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize