He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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