He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
