Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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