Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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