the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
