I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
