peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
