dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
