You made me cry and you don't even care
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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