Will you blow on my dice?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Green mimosas i think yes
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
