my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
