Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you didnt know i had herpes?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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