Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
When are your genitals available?
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
