11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
