Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
