Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
