Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
