I want to make a zoo with you.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize