I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
