Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
