There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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