he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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