When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
