just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
