Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So much Jack, so little girl.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
