help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
