Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
