i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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