P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize