Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
