we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
