It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
