I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
