two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
