Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
