Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize